First of All . . .

I want to state without hesitation or reservation, that the state of Black America is in a crisis! Yes we have a Black president. Yes we have a brown-skinned, short haired, non-nasally voiced Black woman as the First Lady. But what does your cousin, aunt, sister, girlfriend, best friend have? An economy pack of energizers and every Zane novel ever written? Damn that! you need a love of your own!

Dating is the Beginning of Our Problems

Where we are as a people is fragmented because of our inability to date with any success. This may sound crazy but if you look at things the way I see them you will quickly understand my point. Dating and the act of repeated exposure to the opposite sex carry with it many functions, companionship, sex, entertainment, and tradition. All these motivations are important, but the ultimate goal is to get to know if this person is someone you would like to spend most of your spare time with. In other words if this person is someone you would call your man or your woman.
Becoming girlfriend and boyfriend is the natural prerequisite to marriage, which, in turn, leads to children and grandchildren, aunts, uncles and cousins. In short, dating is what creates families. We all know that healthy family structures are what we lack as a community. So then, this problem must be traced back to its roots – dating.

Women raise daughters - not sons.

For the men that marry young or, more often, have children young; the Black woman often finds herself raising a grown boy that had been nurtured by his mother. Often she is the one that urged him to get an education, taught him money management, time management and personal interaction skills. The problem is that his learning curve may be a little more than she can handle and her teaching methods harsh because she feels he should know this already since she does. He is ousted from the relationship just as he is coming to understand what she is doing. That is why the second woman of significance in his life usually has a real man – because the first one finished the job. This is why so many happily married husbands and fathers have children from previous relationships. 

7 Steps to Change a Black Man’s Life

Do Something!

Do anything! Just do something! One major issue confronting African American men is their being content with dreaming of a better life, but not doing anything about it. It is this kind of complacent mentality that gives time permission to let the months and years roll by without accomplishment, satisfaction or growth occurring in his life. It is as if he waits for a knock at the door from some guy named “Opportunity!”

So, I say DO SOMETHING! Go to school, get a job, read a book, volunteer at a homeless shelter, or go for a walk every day.  Do anything that will get you moving and some blood circulating through your brain and body. Take a break from the weed, the beer, the TV, and give your Xbox/PS3/or whatever to your child, niece, nephew, or little cousin of your choice. Xboxes are good for, children and independently wealthy people; both of which have hours to waste staring at an inanimate object.

            Getting yourself moving is the idea, and if you think about it, you should have never stopped moving in the first place. Once, you were active and excited about living. You played sports, went to school, and you were alive. Nowadays, you are too cool to work at a job that pays at the unskilled labor rate, even though you have no skills. Get a job . . . then get some skills . . . then get an education  . . . and then the house . . . and car . . . and beautiful woman . . . in short, get a life!

           

7 Steps to Change Your Life

STEP 1 –

Get an idea of how you are going to make it out of your current life and into your new life.

Don’t just fantasize about some vague idea of driving a Benz or Bentley or living the life of a “baller.” In clear and concise words and images, think of what you will do to produce the ingredients needed for such material things. How much does it cost? Where would I get it? What generates the kind of money needed to get those things? How do I fit in with the activities that generate that king of income?

            From there, figure how long it should take you and what progress you should see along the way. What should I do or change by tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, etc.?. You will then know how to adjust to get to your goal.

            Think in the same way about your relationships. Get all debt, old grudges, and resentments into the open and out of your life. Pay them back, call them up, forgive them, and forget them. Get on good terms with your family by simply calling them. You do not need a reason to call, just let them put you on their mind – let them wonder about you because it will give you great positive energy in the near future as you put your plan to work.

STEP 2 –

Get stable and consistent.

Get a routine going in your life once you get up and moving. Make a list of things to do every day at the same time.  It does not matter what it is, just get in the habit of getting up and going everyday so that you become conditioned to the ‘Mother of Learning” and an important ingredient for success – repetition. The Grand Canyon was formed by a small river that ran through it day after day and year after year until it was worn clean through. Bodybuilders workout every day in order to turn their bodies into living statues the same way professional athletes practice every day to become the best in the world at their respective sports.

STEP 3 –

Talk to someone.

            Have a sincere conversation with someone that has his or her act together. Talk about what they do and how they do it. Forget about being embarrassed, many successful men and women would love to tell you how they made their way to success. Listen to them and apply their strategies to your own game plan. Whatever it is that you want to do, do it, but follow the steps taken by those who have reached their goals or are well on their way.

STEP 4 –

Make a pledge.

            Make a pledge to take care of your responsibility, and then do what you say you will do. Your kids, your credit, your weight, that dream or passion that God put in your heart – anything that you know you should be doing, make a decision to do it.

STEP 5 –

Get connected.

            Make phone calls, do research, and ask questions. Do whatever you must in order to make contacts. Being connected is essential to changing your life and building a meaningful bridge to the world of movers and shakers. There is someone, somewhere waiting to help you do what it is you want to do your goals – just know what  when you approach.

STEP 6 –

Execute your plan.

            Motivate yourself. Get the images of how you want to live out of your head and put them in front of your eyes. Surround yourself with the feelings and thoughts of how you want to live your life. This means placing pictures on your wall, writing notes to yourself, noticing things you see on a daily basis that remind you of the material things you want and the kind of people you need or want in your life. Notice the feelings that others show on their faces and in their actions. Notice them and what they do when no one is looking.

            Keep track of your progress. Keep a list of things you must do to get to the lifestyle you want to have. Most importantly, use your imagination to visualize yourself in your new life, driving your new car, with your new woman, parking in the driveway of your new luxury home.

STEP 7 –

Give yourself a thorough cleansing.

            Brainwash yourself. By this, I am not advising you to go out and join a cult or buy a book on self-hypnosis. I am advising you to wash your brain, figuratively, of course! Wash your brain of all things negative and untrue. Remove all ideas about what you have been doing and how it will get you to where you want to be by some magical process. The magic is in believing you can accomplish what you will and taking some action – any action. A lot of us loudly proclaim our excellence, and quietly doubt that our lives will be as bright as we say. This way of thinking must be washed away immediately! It is the surest way, over time, to rob you of that fire called a will and its fuel called desire.  Will –power allows men to do whatever their hearts desire. It puts you in a position to exercise your choice of actions without worrying about whether or not you will fail. This is so because the will does not know failure, nor does it comprehend setbacks. The will only seeks to complete the task and fulfill the desired outcome. It cares less about anything else. This single-minded focus creates for men whatever they will.

A Booklist to Change Your Life

Read these and you will never be the same!!

• Conversations with God – Neale Adam Walsh
• The Miseducation of the Negro – Carter G. Woodson
• Breaking the Chains of Psychological Slavery – Naim Akbar
• From “Superman” to Man – J.A. Rogers
• Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
• What Makes the Great Great – Dennis Kimbro
• The Science of Success – Wallace D. Wattles
• WANTED: The Guide to Understanding Black Men – Christopher Nazareth
• Hanging by a Thread: A Survival Guide for Blacks in Corporate America – Lisa Brown